Finding My King

This summer has been one of self-reflection and long talks with God.  You see, I was completely comfortable in my hometown.  I knew where everything was located and didn't need my GPS, ever. I had lots of friends and connections and I knew they loved me for who I am.  I knew who I was and was completely confident in my marriage, my friendships, my ability to do my job well, and (most days), in my parenting.  I knew that I was where I "fit" and I was confident.  Yep...I was comfortable.
The biggest lesson I've learned so far this summer is that I was, perhaps, "too comfortable".  I was "too confident".  I was "too secure" in my environment. I had roots and was deeply planted in my sense of self-worth.

Typing this out is making it super-real and its actually a little painful to admit. I was cocky, I guess.  I just "knew" that God would work things out and didn't really put a lot of effort into really coming to Him. I just took for granted that He was there and that He had a hand in my life.  Now, that's not to say that I never genuinely cried out praise to God for His blessings or sincerely came to Him and put all my faith in Him...I definitely did that!!! I just have to admit that I didn't do it as often as I should have.

This Sunday, one of our pastors preached about finding our King...and making sure the God was the King over our lives.  He suggested we ask ourselves these five questions:
1) What do I trust in this life?
2) What am I submitted to (or, what rules my life)?
3) What do I dream about?
4) Where do I spend my money?
5) What do I worship?

As I stare at these questions, now, answering them honestly, I'm not proud.  Here are my answers:

1) My knowledge over family issues, parenting, keeping my home, the "system"...in short, My own power and understanding.
2) Food
3) Being well-known in the public eye, having people know my name, based on those things I trust in from number 1.
4) Food (like eating out and non-nutritious food and drinks) and Entertainment
5) "Beauty" and I struggle with comparing myself to others.

Notice how none of these answers point to my Savior?  Notice how they're all self-centered?  Notice any contradictions?  WOW!!! I honestly would have NEVER thought that these would be my answers.

How could I have fallen into the trap of putting so much stock into myself?  Why do I allow food such a big place in my life?  Why do I allow the enemy to shift my focus from the perfect creation that I am in Christ and allow myself to feel "less than" someone else?  Why do I listen to Satan's lies when he tells me "You can start exercising tomorrow" or "You can't give to that ministry right now" or "You deserve to have this or that"?   What am I teaching my children by listening to him?  Oh my gosh...that thought is scary!! 

So, today I'm making a vow.  A committment.  A promise.  I'm vowing to work every day, intentionally, to really make God my King.  To not listen to Satan's lies.  When I feel like I don't need to exercise today, I'm going to recognize that is Satan talking. God wants me to take care of my body, because it is a living temple for Christ, who is in me.  I'm going to pray before I eat that snack or drink that pop. I'm going to give up a $40 trip to the movies for the chance to help someone else. I'm going to think about how God has been the center of my professional growth...how every circumstance that brought me to where I am, as a professional, has been a circumstance through which God has protected, guided and carried me.  I'm going to intentionally turn my focus on God.

Next year, I want to ask these questions again and have very, very different answers!

2 Corinthians 5:17
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here

2 Corinthians 7:1
Therefore, since we have these promises, dear friends, let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God.

Hebrews 10:14
For by one sacrifice he has made perfect forever those who are being made holy

2 Corinthians 6:16
What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said: “I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people.”

John 6:57
Just as the living Father sent me and I live because of the Father, so the one who feeds on me will live because of me

John 14:10
Don’t you believe that I am in the Father, and that the Father is in me? The words I say to you I do not speak on my own authority. Rather, it is the Father, living in me, who is doing his work.