Have you ever felt like you, somehow, got on a roller coaster ride that just wouldn't end? Like there was some malfunction in the controls that put the ride into a constant cycle of ups, downs, twists, and turns and loopy-loops and upside down craziness? Like you were going to throw up if things just didn't settle?
Am I alone in this?
No?
I didn't think so. That's life.
Have you ever noticed, when you're on a ride like that, where your eyes are focused?
Right now, I want you to close your eyes (okay, wait, that won't work if you're reading this)...No, just imagine with me for a moment that you've reached the front of the line. Finally! After 2 1/2 hours in a hot, sweaty, smoldering line with way too few stinky smelly water misters and no breeze in the air, you're there! You're getting seated and strapped in and you've chosen the best seat on the train.
You're in the front row! You listen for all the clicks and you anxiously wait for the roller coaster operator to take his station at the controls. You sit with anticipation as you listen to the warnings and rules, all the while thinking, "Yeah, yeah...we got it! Let's go!"
There it is, the first clickety-clack of the chain underfoot and the train starts to inch its way up that first big hill. Where are your eyes focused?
That's right - on the top of the hill!
As you finally summit the hill and begin to fall down that first decline and approach the next big twist of the track, where are you focused?
Yep. On that big loopy-loop ahead.
Do you see where I'm going with this? It seems we're always looking toward the next big event in the ride, the next thrill, the next time our stomach will turn and we'll feel the adrenaline rush that comes with not knowing what will come after that.
Now, if you're like me, the very idea of even thinking about getting on a roller coaster scares the $!%!&@ out of you! I do not particularly enjoy these thrill rides. They're way too fast, way too high, and way too unpredictable for me. I have this completely ridiculous fear that the coaster will mean my demise.
I tend to ride roller coasters in this way: eyes tightly closed - so tight that the only colors I see are those that magically appear when the sunlight hits one's eyelids, hands tightly gripped on the lap bar, lips held so tightly together that there is absolutely no way anything is either coming out or going into my mouth, and mind racing quickly with every fear, prayer, and worry about how my life would end in the 3 minutes I'm on the ride.
It is not fun for me to ride the coaster.
But, when I get off the ride, I'm typically always proud of myself for doing it, realizing that I was perhaps a little silly for being so terrified and realizing that I missed the real experience because my eyes were closed and I refused to fully experience the moment. I missed whizzing through the trees, feeling the rush of adrenaline and the thrill of the scream. I missed so much that for a moment, a very, very brief moment, I consider getting back in line!
Well, life can be a little bit like that roller coaster ride. If we don't allow ourselves to live in the moment, to experience the ride, to see the thrill in the whizzing through the trees and the excitement in the scream, we'll miss too much.
Life will surely bring new twists, turns, ups, downs, and loopy-loops. Of this, I am sure. I know they will come because no one ever said life would be easy, all the time.
So, when the next moment comes when the track tosses me another way, I'll be okay with it. I refuse to let any more moments find me caught up in fear. I will, instead, be IN the moment, eyes wide open and ready for whatever may come.
Be ready.
Be patient.
Be confident.
Be trusting.
Be willing.
Be obedient.
Be open.
Be unashamed.
Be still.
Just Be.
I will be Know that He is God and that He designed the track of my life and that He is in control. He's double checked the structure for safety and, in areas where pieces may be weak or tired or old and worn out, He will be there to catch me if I fall. He will plan new pieces of track and He will install switches right where they need to be, so that my life will take the path He has laid out for me.
This ride will not be my demise.
Wednesday, August 27, 2014
Monday, January 20, 2014
January Check-in
Here we are...already 20 days into 2014 and its beginning to feel normal. I rarely try to write 2013 anymore and I recognize all the weight loss and resolution television commercials are slowing down. I am prompted, now, to reflect on my first 20 days and to ask myself why I am struggling to make some pretty simple changes in my life. Reflection isn't only for December, right? One must really do a self-check periodically in order to stay focused. Join me as I recount my 5 top goals for the year and let me know how younate doing on your goals in the comments section.
I only made it through the first 6 days in my daily time with God. What?? Why do I never go a day without checking email or my bank account and I only go a day or two without checking in on facebook, but I can go 13 days without purposefully sitting down to read the Word? Why do I ignore that pull even when I feel a little guilty about it and am doing nothing else with my time? I do have the Bible right there on my phone! I really need to recommit to this goal and listen when God is calling me to spend time with him.
Write two blogs per month per blog. Halfway there. I have a great idea for another blog over on www.WhenFosterCareGoesRight.com and will get it posted this week.
Write 12 pieces for FosterFocus Magazine. Even though I have a couple great ideas spinning in my head, I've not put them to paper, yet. I plan to do a couple this week and send them over to the editor, though. Someone keep me accountable!
Cook more/eat at home more. We are doing well in this a, which is both good for my wallet and my families health. Why is so much of our life and how we defime fun wrapped up into food, somehow? Kinda reminds me of that scene from the movie "Over the Hedge" when the main character is explaining how the people have more than enough food to the wild forest ani,als and he suggests that we almost worship food. Man! So true! Its really pretty sad. I am, however, feeling okay with my progress on this goal, so far.
Run. That's a quick summary but the general goal is to run this year. I was selected to share my journey to become a runner in 2014 with the readers of MetroFamily Magazine in the Oklahoma City area, alongside three other women. We were blessed with new running shoes and professionally guided to just the right footwear by Red Coyote Running store. Great, great people! The photo shoot was super fun, too! I tried to really tap into my inner-Tyra and "smize" as best I could. I'll post a link to the pictures and the article as soon as I see it. I have started working out and, today, I RAN a total of over 12 minutes. Whoop whoop!
I'll update more again soon. I plan to do an intentional check-in each month as a means to staying focused.
How are you doing, so far, in 2014?
I only made it through the first 6 days in my daily time with God. What?? Why do I never go a day without checking email or my bank account and I only go a day or two without checking in on facebook, but I can go 13 days without purposefully sitting down to read the Word? Why do I ignore that pull even when I feel a little guilty about it and am doing nothing else with my time? I do have the Bible right there on my phone! I really need to recommit to this goal and listen when God is calling me to spend time with him.
Write two blogs per month per blog. Halfway there. I have a great idea for another blog over on www.WhenFosterCareGoesRight.com and will get it posted this week.
Write 12 pieces for FosterFocus Magazine. Even though I have a couple great ideas spinning in my head, I've not put them to paper, yet. I plan to do a couple this week and send them over to the editor, though. Someone keep me accountable!
Cook more/eat at home more. We are doing well in this a, which is both good for my wallet and my families health. Why is so much of our life and how we defime fun wrapped up into food, somehow? Kinda reminds me of that scene from the movie "Over the Hedge" when the main character is explaining how the people have more than enough food to the wild forest ani,als and he suggests that we almost worship food. Man! So true! Its really pretty sad. I am, however, feeling okay with my progress on this goal, so far.
Run. That's a quick summary but the general goal is to run this year. I was selected to share my journey to become a runner in 2014 with the readers of MetroFamily Magazine in the Oklahoma City area, alongside three other women. We were blessed with new running shoes and professionally guided to just the right footwear by Red Coyote Running store. Great, great people! The photo shoot was super fun, too! I tried to really tap into my inner-Tyra and "smize" as best I could. I'll post a link to the pictures and the article as soon as I see it. I have started working out and, today, I RAN a total of over 12 minutes. Whoop whoop!
I'll update more again soon. I plan to do an intentional check-in each month as a means to staying focused.
How are you doing, so far, in 2014?
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
Gaining in 2014
I realize, as another year comes to a close, that's I'm really, really good about making goals for myself and even at putting them out there for the world to see. I am not, however, very good at sticking with them. I realize I need some form of real accountability. I need to be held to the fire to make it happen. Every year for the last 5+ years, I've said "I'm gonna lose weight this year." Funny thing is that in 2012, I succeeded. I lost 40 lbs that year! I've also said many times that I'm going to spend more time with God, exercise more, and be better wife & mom. I've said I'd be devoted to my life's goals of writing a book and becoming a conference speaker & presenter. I've made some lofty goals over the years, but really, if I'm honest have not been successful in reaching those goals. That's a tough pill to swallow, but I promised when I started this blog to be sincere. So, this is me being sincere. I'm human and sometimes, I fail. Thankfully, God still loves me (and many of you do too!). Whew!!! I am eternally grateful for THAT!!!
In 2012, I lost 40 lbs. In 2013, I gained 47 back. Yikes!!! How could I let that happen? I let those awful bad habits creep back in to my life and I lost all focus and dedication to my health. I've even tried to recommit several times this year...keyword...tried. Fell short.
I've said before I wanted to run a half-marathon and then sat my big booty on the couch and didn't make it happen. Why?
I've said before I'm going to write a book. My book. My story. I believe with all my heart that God has given me the experiences of my life so I can impact others and I know that it will honor Him for me to share that story in the written word. Unfortunately, I just haven't forced myself to do it. What's holding me back?
At least 2013 wasn't a complete loss. I did have a goal of speaking more and this year I was blessed to be a paid speaker at two separate events. What an incredible experience!!! I am truly humbled and honored to be able to connect with people in this manner and I'm praying God will open more doors for me, in the future.
The year 2014 starts in about 3 hours and its time for me to decide...will this be another year of the same ol' same ol' or will this be a year of "LET'S DO IT!" ???? (Where's the Magic 8 Ball when you need it, huh?)
I'm praying for strength, endurance, perseverance, focus, and determination and I'm looking to God in my journey for the coming year. I'm making my goals for the year more measurable and they're all goals I can track and check off as I go...so I can see progress. I'm not focusing on what I want to lose, but instead, I've decided to make goals that will help me gain something positive in my life.
In 2014, I plan to
1) Spend 10 minutes w/ God each day. (and, I'm going to commit to doing this BEFORE I check my smartphone apps or email or bank account! If I can spend way more than 10 minutes checking these things each day, I can definitely spend 10 minutes with my Father.)
2) Eat at home more/Cook more (menu planning will be key).
3) RUN in three 5ks and one 10k race. (I'll be one of 4 featured moms on the journey to a 5k in a local family magazine www.MetroFamilyMagazine.com from February to April...how's that for accountability???)
4) Blog at least 2x/month on Sassy & Sincere AND When Foster Care Goes Right
5) Write 12 pieces for www.FosterFocusMag.com
6) Book 4 paid speaking engagements as a conference or workshop presenter.
What will you do in 2014 to impact your life in a positive way? Share your goals in the comments section here.
In 2012, I lost 40 lbs. In 2013, I gained 47 back. Yikes!!! How could I let that happen? I let those awful bad habits creep back in to my life and I lost all focus and dedication to my health. I've even tried to recommit several times this year...keyword...tried. Fell short.
I've said before I wanted to run a half-marathon and then sat my big booty on the couch and didn't make it happen. Why?
I've said before I'm going to write a book. My book. My story. I believe with all my heart that God has given me the experiences of my life so I can impact others and I know that it will honor Him for me to share that story in the written word. Unfortunately, I just haven't forced myself to do it. What's holding me back?
At least 2013 wasn't a complete loss. I did have a goal of speaking more and this year I was blessed to be a paid speaker at two separate events. What an incredible experience!!! I am truly humbled and honored to be able to connect with people in this manner and I'm praying God will open more doors for me, in the future.
The year 2014 starts in about 3 hours and its time for me to decide...will this be another year of the same ol' same ol' or will this be a year of "LET'S DO IT!" ???? (Where's the Magic 8 Ball when you need it, huh?)
I'm praying for strength, endurance, perseverance, focus, and determination and I'm looking to God in my journey for the coming year. I'm making my goals for the year more measurable and they're all goals I can track and check off as I go...so I can see progress. I'm not focusing on what I want to lose, but instead, I've decided to make goals that will help me gain something positive in my life.
In 2014, I plan to
1) Spend 10 minutes w/ God each day. (and, I'm going to commit to doing this BEFORE I check my smartphone apps or email or bank account! If I can spend way more than 10 minutes checking these things each day, I can definitely spend 10 minutes with my Father.)
2) Eat at home more/Cook more (menu planning will be key).
3) RUN in three 5ks and one 10k race. (I'll be one of 4 featured moms on the journey to a 5k in a local family magazine www.MetroFamilyMagazine.com from February to April...how's that for accountability???)
4) Blog at least 2x/month on Sassy & Sincere AND When Foster Care Goes Right
5) Write 12 pieces for www.FosterFocusMag.com
6) Book 4 paid speaking engagements as a conference or workshop presenter.
What will you do in 2014 to impact your life in a positive way? Share your goals in the comments section here.
Sunday, November 24, 2013
The "F" word at Thanksgiving?????
A few nights ago, I was sitting with my kids watching a little TV and I had this thought "Maybe its not about me." So, I grabbed my laptop, trying to push away the thought and I was going to write a fun little blog post, or work on my newest magazine article. Determined to not spend too much time entertaining this awful little thought. I mean who really wants to admit it isn't about me? As I opened "My Documents" I scrolled across a letter I'd started months ago and never finished because it was just too painful...too raw...and too challenging.
First, let me give you the back story.
Last spring, I heard my new friend Amy Little of Beautiful Truth Ministries teach on the importance of repentance and forgiveness for the family tree and future generations. A pretty run-of-the-mill sermon topic, huh?
Well...no. Not this time.
I really didn't like her message, at all. In fact, I have NEVER approached a Bible teacher after the message to say "I don't agree with this" in my life! Until that night.
Yep. I sure did. I walked right up to Mrs. Amy and said "Excuse me, but I'm really struggling with this idea."
What I really meant was "This is totally and completely wrong!"
Of course, trying to be the good little Christian girl at Thursday night Bible study, I was not going to say that! How could I be so rude?!?! So, I "churched" it up a little but the heart-feeling was still there. I didn't like what I'd heard and I was not going to own it!!!
So, what was the big deal about Mrs. Amy's message? She was preaching on the section of scripture that talks about the sins of the father being visited on the children. She had the gall to suggest that each of us needs to repent for the sins of our ancestors and to seek forgiveness, on their behalf.
Forgiveness! The new "F-bomb".
Are you kidding me?!?!? I was the victim of my ancestors and my parents and I have spent my whole life learning to not own their sins as my own and I am not about to start repenting, on their behalf, now. Why should I? I mean, shouldn't they be apologizing, repenting and seeking forgiveness from me? I should not have to apologize, seek forgiveness, or to repent for any of their actions. Right?!?!
I left Bible study and told myself to just forget the whole thing...that was not God's message for me. It did not apply to my life. Her message was intended for someone else and God did not expect me to do this. Afterall, I was not living a life like them and my children are happy. I'm not angry at the world and I don't believe the world is out to get me. I have turned things around and I've taken the opportunities to find stability, success, and real happiness in front of me.
Then, a few months later, I got the call that my grandmother was ill and may not make it. As I was driving the 6 hours to try to see her again, in case she passed (because I don't get to see my family all that often), I was thinking about my family and the relationships that are strained in so many different ways. I thought about all those people who never speak to one another and I thought about the distance between these people I love, but never see and never really talk to.
I was reminded of the message I'd received in the spring and I was forced to reconsider whether or not God really had intended that message for me.
Fast forward to October and one phone call that seemed like so many others before. Same ol', same ol' as they say.
Then, November. The month for Thanksgiving. The month for gratitude...to recognize God's blessings on our lives and to give Him praise. Yes, I'm grateful, but this year, I've been a little hard-pressed to put words to it...feeling a little put-off by all the "Today I'm thankful for"s.
Months have passed since that Spring Bible Study and I have tried to, on occasion, acknowledge this message over my life. Or, have I?
If I'm totally honest with myself, I know there have been moments I've thought about it and prayed about it and even knew, that yes, I should repent and seek forgiveness on behalf of my family, for my heart's sake and the sake of future generations, but I've not really, truly done it...yet. Why not???
This week, as I'm sitting with my kids and I open my laptop, and I see the letter...it hits me.
Now, is the time. So, I type out the rest of that abandoned letter from months and months earlier. I typed it but did not print it. I don't know if I will. I don't know if its maybe something I need to say, rather than mail. I am worried about how it will be received, or if it will be faced with more resistance and "yeah, but" or if I'll be cut-off and told "I'm not doing this" again. Perhaps, the writer in me just needed to put the words to paper - to see them in print. Only God knows where the entirety of this letter will go and how things will turn out.
I want to humbly ask you to do two things with me, this Thanksgiving week (and beyond):
1) Please pray for me, my heart, and my family as I work to trust God in all things - including real Forgiveness for my family - my ancestors, my immediate family, and my future generations. Please pray for me, as I begin to pray that God will do a good work in me and not others in my life. That can be a scary process, kind of like open-heart surgery, but I know its in my best interest. I know God is the ultimate-healer and I will trust him with my heart.
2) Consider the pains and hurts that may be infecting your family. Are there viruses impacting your family tree that should be repented to God? Are you, somehow, passing these viruses on to future generations? (Remember, there are lots of ways infections of pain, mistrust, and sin can be passed on, not just in the exact repeat version.) Do you need to seek Forgiveness? Do you need to offer Forgiveness?
I pray you will allow God to work in your heart this holiday season and that you will be open to Him, in all ways...even when you're thinking "Are you kidding me?"
Friday, October 25, 2013
The Truth Is...
As I logged on to the computer today to pen a new post, I scrolled to the bottom of the blog page and found two comments that, while masked in Christian "love", were fully intended to be insulting and hurtful. I'll admit that I was deeply hurt and I was deeply impacted by these comments. It took me about 5 hours to get over it and to stop dwelling on the pain and the sting of the words, to stop questioning whether the words are true and to stop wanting to know who posted the comments. Obviously, its someone who knows me in real life. Obviously, its someone who believes that I've done something wrong. Obviously, its someone who feels like I am still doing something wrong. What isn't so obvious is this person's role in my experience, and that we will probably never know, because like most hurtful comments posted online, they were posted anonymously.
So, after wiping my tears and dusting myself off from this fall, I would like to respond with the truth, and then to move on with my originally planned post for today.
The truth is that I appreciate any and all prayers sent up on my behalf. One can never be covered by too much prayer. Thank you for thinking of me as you pray.
The truth is that I am sure I have needed to be forgiven on many occasions. I am not perfect. The Bible tells us in Romans 3:23 "All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." If I have personally hurt you, I am deeply sorry and I would ask you to please contact me, directly, so that we may try to work out any hurts that I've caused to you.
However, if the actions that you're speaking of have anything to do with my decision to tell my story - either as a young person or now - I will not apologize for that decision. I will use the experiences of my life to honor God's presence in my life and I will attempt to do that as respectfully as possible. I will speak only the truth, as I remember it, and I will always focus on the awesome blessings that God has brought into my life far more than the hurts. I will be an example of overcoming adversity and I will not be ashamed, nor will I hide the truth of my experience. It is my experience and I have every right to share it, in order to show my gratitude for God's presence and protection over my life - many times over.
The truth is I've had therapy. Years and years of therapy. I've attended countless sessions of group and individual therapy. I've spilled my guts and my tears more times than I can count and it is through this process that I've learned it is healthy to tell my story and to share my experiences with others - good and bad. I've also learned what is my fault and what isn't. I've learned how to accept responsibility for my actions and to be open to feedback and criticism. I've learned how to look for opportunities to grow, personally and professionally. I've challenged myself to look at my world through the lens of truth and it was hard. It was painful but it was also exhilarating. I left my therapist's office for the last time with the knowledge that I was "okay" and that I was capable of doing amazing things, knowing that my past did not need to define my future, and knowing how to have trust in the world around me.
The truth is I AM A POSITIVE FORCE FOR GOOD. I am a Child of God. I am a devoted wife who is ultimately faithful to my husband. I truly desire to be a Proverbs 31 woman and I am happy to be his helpmate in life. I am an amazing mother, even on those days when I am not such a great mom, because my children are happy, healthy, and safe, and they know I love them, unconditionally. I am an awesome social worker who impacts the world for better. I am a loving, loyal, and committed friend who would give and do anything for anyone, if it is in my power to do so. I know these things to be true because of the positive relationships in my life. I know these things to be true because of the people who love me, for who I am, good and bad.
I also know that I will continue to be a positive force for good because God tells me so. He has a calling on my life and He has a plan for me. He promises me so in Jeremiah 29:11, which says "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.".
The truth is I am very aware that there are many things of which I am unaware. I will discover them and learn from them or grow from them in God's timing and I'm okay with that. I am aware that I am not perfect and that I will make mistakes every single day. I am even aware that sometimes my emotions get the better of me. I am also aware that I have lots of room for improvement. I am aware that I am in constant need of relationship and that I really need affirmations in my life. I am aware that I won't always receive affirmations and, it is during these times when I need to turn my eyes toward Jesus for the affirmation I seek. He will always provide.
Finally, the truth is I am many things, but damaged is not one of them - anymore. I was saved from this state a long time ago and many times over. First, when I was saved from my childhood. Next, when I was saved from the daily thoughts of self-doubt and self-loathing. Then, from the willingness to be held down in the pit for the rest of my existence, and finally, when I accepted the Lord Jesus Christ as my ultimate Savior. On that day, any damage that existed in my heart was fixed and I AM DAMAGED NO MORE.
The truth is I am accepted. I am Secure. I am Significant. You can read more about these affirmations from scripture in this simple, easy to read PDF from http://www.gracewired.net/documents/affirmations.pdf and in the Holy Bible. I would encourage you to do your own digging into these truths, because,
The truth is...
You are too, if you believe in Jesus Christ and in His power in your life.
Thank you for taking the time to comment, because you have given me the opportunity, during a week when I've really been feeling attacked from several different directions, to be reminded of these truths. For that, I am sincerely grateful to you...whoever you are.
So, after wiping my tears and dusting myself off from this fall, I would like to respond with the truth, and then to move on with my originally planned post for today.
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| Copied from: http://leadershipfreak.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/truth.jpg |
The truth is that I am sure I have needed to be forgiven on many occasions. I am not perfect. The Bible tells us in Romans 3:23 "All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." If I have personally hurt you, I am deeply sorry and I would ask you to please contact me, directly, so that we may try to work out any hurts that I've caused to you.
However, if the actions that you're speaking of have anything to do with my decision to tell my story - either as a young person or now - I will not apologize for that decision. I will use the experiences of my life to honor God's presence in my life and I will attempt to do that as respectfully as possible. I will speak only the truth, as I remember it, and I will always focus on the awesome blessings that God has brought into my life far more than the hurts. I will be an example of overcoming adversity and I will not be ashamed, nor will I hide the truth of my experience. It is my experience and I have every right to share it, in order to show my gratitude for God's presence and protection over my life - many times over.
The truth is I've had therapy. Years and years of therapy. I've attended countless sessions of group and individual therapy. I've spilled my guts and my tears more times than I can count and it is through this process that I've learned it is healthy to tell my story and to share my experiences with others - good and bad. I've also learned what is my fault and what isn't. I've learned how to accept responsibility for my actions and to be open to feedback and criticism. I've learned how to look for opportunities to grow, personally and professionally. I've challenged myself to look at my world through the lens of truth and it was hard. It was painful but it was also exhilarating. I left my therapist's office for the last time with the knowledge that I was "okay" and that I was capable of doing amazing things, knowing that my past did not need to define my future, and knowing how to have trust in the world around me.
The truth is I AM A POSITIVE FORCE FOR GOOD. I am a Child of God. I am a devoted wife who is ultimately faithful to my husband. I truly desire to be a Proverbs 31 woman and I am happy to be his helpmate in life. I am an amazing mother, even on those days when I am not such a great mom, because my children are happy, healthy, and safe, and they know I love them, unconditionally. I am an awesome social worker who impacts the world for better. I am a loving, loyal, and committed friend who would give and do anything for anyone, if it is in my power to do so. I know these things to be true because of the positive relationships in my life. I know these things to be true because of the people who love me, for who I am, good and bad.
I also know that I will continue to be a positive force for good because God tells me so. He has a calling on my life and He has a plan for me. He promises me so in Jeremiah 29:11, which says "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.".
The truth is I am very aware that there are many things of which I am unaware. I will discover them and learn from them or grow from them in God's timing and I'm okay with that. I am aware that I am not perfect and that I will make mistakes every single day. I am even aware that sometimes my emotions get the better of me. I am also aware that I have lots of room for improvement. I am aware that I am in constant need of relationship and that I really need affirmations in my life. I am aware that I won't always receive affirmations and, it is during these times when I need to turn my eyes toward Jesus for the affirmation I seek. He will always provide.
Finally, the truth is I am many things, but damaged is not one of them - anymore. I was saved from this state a long time ago and many times over. First, when I was saved from my childhood. Next, when I was saved from the daily thoughts of self-doubt and self-loathing. Then, from the willingness to be held down in the pit for the rest of my existence, and finally, when I accepted the Lord Jesus Christ as my ultimate Savior. On that day, any damage that existed in my heart was fixed and I AM DAMAGED NO MORE.
The truth is I am accepted. I am Secure. I am Significant. You can read more about these affirmations from scripture in this simple, easy to read PDF from http://www.gracewired.net/documents/affirmations.pdf and in the Holy Bible. I would encourage you to do your own digging into these truths, because,
The truth is...
You are too, if you believe in Jesus Christ and in His power in your life.
Thank you for taking the time to comment, because you have given me the opportunity, during a week when I've really been feeling attacked from several different directions, to be reminded of these truths. For that, I am sincerely grateful to you...whoever you are.
Monday, August 5, 2013
Definitely Not "Mom of the Year" Today
The title of this blog is "Sassy and Sincere" and when I started to write a few years ago, one thing I promised myself is that I'd be real. I'd be honest. I'd be sincere. I'd talk about the good and the bad of being a woman, a wife, a mom, a social worker, a Christ-follower...of living this thing we call life. Today is a day I need to be real. I need to admit my faults and to confess my sin. Today is a day when I admit that I can love Christ, love my family, and love my children and yet I can still feel like I'm losing it! Today is a day that I acknowledge Satan grabbed hold of an area of my life and I let him run with it. Today, I need you to bear with me and to just let me vent my heart. If you've ever felt the same way, let me know...we all need someone to hold us up every now and then, right?
I came home from work a little late today, already feeling a little defeated because I didn't feel I accomplished much during my day. I shouldn't have, perhaps, but I decided to give myself an hour and stopped at my favorite nail shop for a touch-up before vacation. Of course, that combination means I'm now feeling a little overwhelmed. I arrived home and pushed the button to open the garage only to be immediately reminded of a mess and was a little frustrated that I couldn't park in the garage. Entering the house, I'm reminded again of the laundry that we didn't get finished over the weekend and then I entered the kitchen to be reminded that the kids have been snacking all day. One step into the living room tells me its been a day of pillows & blankets, computer & XBOX, and general "do nothing-ness". Walking into the girls' bedrooms tells me the house is way too small for all the stuff we have and a peek in the bathroom tells me the kids forgot to rinse the toothpaste from the sink and to take their dirty laundry to the laundry room. A peek into the boys room reminds me that I neglected to pick up all the hangers tossed to the floor during an impromptu closet purge over the weekend and I see the boys had apparently had a small lego battle, leaving behind a mess of legos on the floor. Walking into the master bedroom tells me my husband attempted to help with laundry but didn't manage to get it put away and that I haven't efficiently put my jewelry away upon removing it for at least 3 weeks.
Basically, it was like a small tornado had hit my home and left behind a path of family-like destruction!
Oh, and let's not forget the boys were apparently really getting on one another's nerves today because they were in all-out bicker mode.
Good times.
In an effort to, perhaps, deny my part in all of this I tried to pull the kids into "clean-up" mode which hailed a range of high-pitched squeals and whines almost worth of dog-whistle tones. I still find it amazing that none of my children made the mess...and yet, a mess there is. Can anyone relate to "I didn't do it!" "But mom, I didn't get anything out!" "Why should I have to clean it up?" and so on. My answers of "because you live here" or "I didn't do it either" go unheard.
About a half hour goes by of trying to make dinner while trying to get the kids to pick-up and I fail. I lose it. I yelled. I barked orders. I refused to listen. I blamed it all on everyone else and I denied my failure to prioritize and to adequately adjust to life as a working-mom.
This is the first summer in 12 years I've worked. I feel like I've missed the whole summer and I feel like I've failed my kids. I have missed spending time with them and I've failed at keeping up with my duties at home. I have even allowed Satan to tempt me into blaming my family! I've forgotten to acknowledge that my husband has done far more laundry than I over the past 3 months and I've neglected to admit my laziness at home has led to way more fast-food or restaurant meals than has been healthy for our waistlines or our budget. I've just not managed myself or my time well.
As I tried to regain my composure, only half-succeeding, I sat the kids at the table over spaghetti and we developed a list of chores. We wrote several of the chores onto strips of paper and drew 3 per child. These chores will be put back each Sunday and the family will re-draw. We also assigned "standing chores" to each family member...things we will each be responsible for each week, with no rotation. Each child had equal say into what they will take responsibility for in their shared bedrooms and Mom and Dad were assigned larger chores as well. I gotta tell ya...I've always hated the idea of a chore chart...thinking "just do the chore you're told to do during family cleaning time". I may be changing my mind!
Finally!!! After each child drew their chores (which they seemed to actually halfway enjoy doing) and having an agreement that each child will re-draw on Sunday, each child went their own way and completed their little list! It actually seemed to work and the house no longer feels like a disaster zone.
Prayers and fingers crossed we can and will stick with this plan. We need this thing to be successful and tomorrow, we need to have a much better day!
I came home from work a little late today, already feeling a little defeated because I didn't feel I accomplished much during my day. I shouldn't have, perhaps, but I decided to give myself an hour and stopped at my favorite nail shop for a touch-up before vacation. Of course, that combination means I'm now feeling a little overwhelmed. I arrived home and pushed the button to open the garage only to be immediately reminded of a mess and was a little frustrated that I couldn't park in the garage. Entering the house, I'm reminded again of the laundry that we didn't get finished over the weekend and then I entered the kitchen to be reminded that the kids have been snacking all day. One step into the living room tells me its been a day of pillows & blankets, computer & XBOX, and general "do nothing-ness". Walking into the girls' bedrooms tells me the house is way too small for all the stuff we have and a peek in the bathroom tells me the kids forgot to rinse the toothpaste from the sink and to take their dirty laundry to the laundry room. A peek into the boys room reminds me that I neglected to pick up all the hangers tossed to the floor during an impromptu closet purge over the weekend and I see the boys had apparently had a small lego battle, leaving behind a mess of legos on the floor. Walking into the master bedroom tells me my husband attempted to help with laundry but didn't manage to get it put away and that I haven't efficiently put my jewelry away upon removing it for at least 3 weeks.
Basically, it was like a small tornado had hit my home and left behind a path of family-like destruction!
Oh, and let's not forget the boys were apparently really getting on one another's nerves today because they were in all-out bicker mode.
Good times.
In an effort to, perhaps, deny my part in all of this I tried to pull the kids into "clean-up" mode which hailed a range of high-pitched squeals and whines almost worth of dog-whistle tones. I still find it amazing that none of my children made the mess...and yet, a mess there is. Can anyone relate to "I didn't do it!" "But mom, I didn't get anything out!" "Why should I have to clean it up?" and so on. My answers of "because you live here" or "I didn't do it either" go unheard.
About a half hour goes by of trying to make dinner while trying to get the kids to pick-up and I fail. I lose it. I yelled. I barked orders. I refused to listen. I blamed it all on everyone else and I denied my failure to prioritize and to adequately adjust to life as a working-mom.
This is the first summer in 12 years I've worked. I feel like I've missed the whole summer and I feel like I've failed my kids. I have missed spending time with them and I've failed at keeping up with my duties at home. I have even allowed Satan to tempt me into blaming my family! I've forgotten to acknowledge that my husband has done far more laundry than I over the past 3 months and I've neglected to admit my laziness at home has led to way more fast-food or restaurant meals than has been healthy for our waistlines or our budget. I've just not managed myself or my time well.
As I tried to regain my composure, only half-succeeding, I sat the kids at the table over spaghetti and we developed a list of chores. We wrote several of the chores onto strips of paper and drew 3 per child. These chores will be put back each Sunday and the family will re-draw. We also assigned "standing chores" to each family member...things we will each be responsible for each week, with no rotation. Each child had equal say into what they will take responsibility for in their shared bedrooms and Mom and Dad were assigned larger chores as well. I gotta tell ya...I've always hated the idea of a chore chart...thinking "just do the chore you're told to do during family cleaning time". I may be changing my mind!
Finally!!! After each child drew their chores (which they seemed to actually halfway enjoy doing) and having an agreement that each child will re-draw on Sunday, each child went their own way and completed their little list! It actually seemed to work and the house no longer feels like a disaster zone.
Prayers and fingers crossed we can and will stick with this plan. We need this thing to be successful and tomorrow, we need to have a much better day!
Friday, July 26, 2013
Application...Life....Updating...
Has it really been over 5 months since I last posted? I have to ask myself why I can't stay away from facebook for more than a day or two? Convenience, perhaps? The fact that I can post in the flash of lightning from my fancy phone? (Remember when beepers were cool?) Or is it a crazy obsession with telling all my business to the world? Probably a combination of all of the above!
Okay, well...5 months...there's a lot to update, so let's get started.
I realized all too quickly I'd taken on way too much last fall when I started working 3 jobs plus tried a home-based business in direct sales. So, in April, I made a change. I left my position with a foster care agency and jumped full-time into a position as the Training Director for the Oklahoma CASA Association. I'm loving it!!! While the decision really was difficult and I didn't necessarily leave the former position as neatly wrapped up as would have made me proud, I know it was the right decision and I'm very happy in my new full-time role. I'm also very grateful that it isn't all that "new" since I'd already been working with OK CASA for a year or more, as a contractor. God opened up an awesome door and I walked through it. Thank You, Jesus! I'm still an adjunct professor at the University of Oklahoma and am so super proud to work with budding social workers, to inspire them to find a passion, and go for it! Its truly a very cool thing I get to do. Oh, and now I say, with a smile "BOOMER SOONER!!"
I’m also working on my book and on developing my speaking & training business, on a very part-time basis, so I don't lose site of the family priorities again. I’ve recently started writing for Foster Focus Magazine and am a fairly regular contributor to that magazine. I am making a lot of connections all over the country and believe God is opening some incredible doors for me to get my message out there. It’s an exciting time, for sure. (If you haven't read Joel Osteen's book "It's Your Time", you should!!! Totally amazing! Find it here.)
Okay, well...5 months...there's a lot to update, so let's get started.
I realized all too quickly I'd taken on way too much last fall when I started working 3 jobs plus tried a home-based business in direct sales. So, in April, I made a change. I left my position with a foster care agency and jumped full-time into a position as the Training Director for the Oklahoma CASA Association. I'm loving it!!! While the decision really was difficult and I didn't necessarily leave the former position as neatly wrapped up as would have made me proud, I know it was the right decision and I'm very happy in my new full-time role. I'm also very grateful that it isn't all that "new" since I'd already been working with OK CASA for a year or more, as a contractor. God opened up an awesome door and I walked through it. Thank You, Jesus! I'm still an adjunct professor at the University of Oklahoma and am so super proud to work with budding social workers, to inspire them to find a passion, and go for it! Its truly a very cool thing I get to do. Oh, and now I say, with a smile "BOOMER SOONER!!"
I’m also working on my book and on developing my speaking & training business, on a very part-time basis, so I don't lose site of the family priorities again. I’ve recently started writing for Foster Focus Magazine and am a fairly regular contributor to that magazine. I am making a lot of connections all over the country and believe God is opening some incredible doors for me to get my message out there. It’s an exciting time, for sure. (If you haven't read Joel Osteen's book "It's Your Time", you should!!! Totally amazing! Find it here.)
Our oldest son, Shawn, is now a teenager!!! He turned 13 last weekend and we celebrated with a big paintball party. I will never understand the attraction of that game, but he and his friends loved it...little paintball welts on their torsos and all! Now, when I look at him, I have to allow myself to accept he becoming a young
man, which ain't easy for this momma to do. He’ll be in the 7th grade this year and will play
football at school. He loves to hunt and fish with Dad and is
definitely a “redneck” boy at heart. He has grown & matured so much in the
past two years…I’m amazed every day.
Our younger son, Derek, turned 11 in June and will be
in the 5th grade. Since moving to Oklahoma, we’ve noticed some
learning issues with Derek and finally were able to get him assessed. He
has some characteristics of Asperger’s Syndrome, but doesn’t meet full
criteria. His primary issues are in sensory integration, so we’re
learning how to best help him focus and to deal with the constant sensory stimulation from the classroom and environment. Praise God his struggles aren't more severe, but it does make me more empathetic to the families of kiddos who do have to fight hard in their world. We finally have a good IEP for him, so I’m hopeful 5th
grade will be a success. He had an awesome teacher last year who worked with
him a great deal and he managed to pass all his subjects! On a brighter note, Derek is a total goofball!!! He is HILARIOUS and
makes us laugh every day…especially when he breaks into random dance or a rap…a
while back he had “apple-bottom jeans” stuck in his head and sang it all the
time. It was too funny!
Chloe, my little mini-me, is now 9 and is a huge animal-lover.
This month, she attended a horse camp and we have to admit we created a monster by letting her go. She already tries to convince me we can
put a horse in the back yard with the dog. We decided to sign her up for weekly riding lessons and she is in heaven on a horse! Its fun to see her so passionate about something and the way she talks to her horses is great. She talks about becoming a veterinarian someday, and
I can totally see her working with farm animals more than anything else. At
least, she talks about going to KSU for vet school (Go CATS!). (Yep, still a Wildcat fan, too!).
Sarah is 7
and is a natural-born dancer & diva. She loves ballet, tap, and
jazz and cannot wait to take hip-hop classes. She has a special little
attitude that comes out and I know she gets it from me. Ya know, I always
joked there was a touch of “black” in me and I see it in her, too…you should
see her roll her head while snapping her fingers! Just yesterday, she was trash talking me as we were playing in the cold water springs near Sulphur, Oklahoma and I refused to jump off the waterfall into the frigid waters. She stood on the rock, popped her hip, snapped her fingers, and rolled her head as she told me exactly how big a wimp I was and how she was not scared! She’s yet to learn when
its cute and when its just rude, though, so we’re working on that.
Justin is still with FedEx and still likes it, okay, I
guess. He is still on 2nd shift, which sucks, but we’re
managing. We're seeking God's plan for him in this area and are waiting for God's direction. We will celebrate our 15th wedding anniversary in
October. Hard to believe we’ve been married for 15 years and have been a couple for
19 years!!!
Our lives are even more awesome now because his two oldest nieces have both had babies. I am loving up on those precious babies any chance I get. Little Rorie is now 4 months old and that cutie Luis Enrique is now about a month and half old. Since Aunt Serena doesn't get to love on them too much, I admit, I hog them as much as I can when I visit! Babies are so much fun. I hope to be as close to each of them as I am to their mommas...two of my amazing nieces!
Our lives are even more awesome now because his two oldest nieces have both had babies. I am loving up on those precious babies any chance I get. Little Rorie is now 4 months old and that cutie Luis Enrique is now about a month and half old. Since Aunt Serena doesn't get to love on them too much, I admit, I hog them as much as I can when I visit! Babies are so much fun. I hope to be as close to each of them as I am to their mommas...two of my amazing nieces!
What's your update? How is God challenging you? How is God blessing you? What doors are opening or closing for you? Fill me in, friend!
Monday, February 11, 2013
Conflict Sucks!
Matthew 18:15-17 ESV
“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector."
We've all been there...the moment when a conflict arises and you don't really know how to handle it, but your emotions take you down a path you know isn't best. It sucks. Truly sucks. Its far too easy to say things, in the heat of a moment, that are hurtful and unkind, and probably don't even represent your deepest feelings, its just the "heat" talking. The adrenaline just takes over and causes the filter between our brains and our mouths to stop working.
Unfortunately, the world of social media and email has only added to our problems. I can't tell you how much drama has entered my life via facebook in the 4+ years I've been on that wonderful site! This weekend was no exception...stupid conflict over misinterpretations and misunderstandings...a total breakdown of adult communication that has had some pretty serious outcomes. Everything is okay, now, but the pain of it all really stings. Things were said that cannot be unsaid and feelings were hurt. Even when it isn't intentional, it never feels good to hurt someone's feelings, does it?
So, I turned to the Bible, to determine if I had handled the conflict, during its growing stages, as best I could. I read Matthew 18:15-17. I asked myself "Did you talk to the person in private?" Yes. "Did you talk to the person again, with witnesses?" Yes. "Did you tell the 'church' (larger group)?" Yes. "Is the person willing to listen to the issue and work it out?" No. It doesn't appear to be the case.
Okay, I've done all I can. I've prayed for God's guidance and have tried to apologize for the things I've done to contribute to the conflict. I've offered to continue the discussion, in a new tone, to no avail. So, a decision was made. A painful decision and one that is definitely not the easiest decision to follow-through with, but nevertheless, the best decision. Now, its time to just move on.
Sometimes, relationships can be salvaged after conflicts. Othertimes, they cannot. The last line of this portion of scripture says "And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector." God is simply telling us not every relationships can survive a conflict and he tells us to move on. He doesn't say dwell on it. He doesn't say let it fester. He simply says the relationship is different - move on.
So, that's what I'm doing...moving on. This piece of my life's puzzle will teach me something and I'll seek to learn all I can. Its okay. I'm at peace with it.
Conflict isn't pretty, but God tell's us exactly how to handle it, doesn't He? Good to know He's really right there...on top of it.
“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector."
We've all been there...the moment when a conflict arises and you don't really know how to handle it, but your emotions take you down a path you know isn't best. It sucks. Truly sucks. Its far too easy to say things, in the heat of a moment, that are hurtful and unkind, and probably don't even represent your deepest feelings, its just the "heat" talking. The adrenaline just takes over and causes the filter between our brains and our mouths to stop working.
Unfortunately, the world of social media and email has only added to our problems. I can't tell you how much drama has entered my life via facebook in the 4+ years I've been on that wonderful site! This weekend was no exception...stupid conflict over misinterpretations and misunderstandings...a total breakdown of adult communication that has had some pretty serious outcomes. Everything is okay, now, but the pain of it all really stings. Things were said that cannot be unsaid and feelings were hurt. Even when it isn't intentional, it never feels good to hurt someone's feelings, does it?
So, I turned to the Bible, to determine if I had handled the conflict, during its growing stages, as best I could. I read Matthew 18:15-17. I asked myself "Did you talk to the person in private?" Yes. "Did you talk to the person again, with witnesses?" Yes. "Did you tell the 'church' (larger group)?" Yes. "Is the person willing to listen to the issue and work it out?" No. It doesn't appear to be the case.
Okay, I've done all I can. I've prayed for God's guidance and have tried to apologize for the things I've done to contribute to the conflict. I've offered to continue the discussion, in a new tone, to no avail. So, a decision was made. A painful decision and one that is definitely not the easiest decision to follow-through with, but nevertheless, the best decision. Now, its time to just move on.
Sometimes, relationships can be salvaged after conflicts. Othertimes, they cannot. The last line of this portion of scripture says "And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector." God is simply telling us not every relationships can survive a conflict and he tells us to move on. He doesn't say dwell on it. He doesn't say let it fester. He simply says the relationship is different - move on.
So, that's what I'm doing...moving on. This piece of my life's puzzle will teach me something and I'll seek to learn all I can. Its okay. I'm at peace with it.
Conflict isn't pretty, but God tell's us exactly how to handle it, doesn't He? Good to know He's really right there...on top of it.
A New Year Means...
You know the routine...all through December you spend your time thinking about what you'll "start" on January 1. The cultural obsession with "New Year's Resolutions" is something that many of us buy in to - myself included! Every year, I tell myself "This is the year I ___________". Fill in the blank - get in shape, exercise more, lose weight, read the Bible cover to cover, never say a swear word, never raise my voice at my kids. The list goes on an on. I am that person who will make a list of 10 or more things I want to change about my life during that year. There have even been posts on this blog about all that I'm going to do.
Typically, about 6 weeks in (or faster), my "resolutions" become the newest list of efforts tried and failed. Its another list of all the things in my world that I lacked committment to accomplish, those things I allowed to fall out of priority.
Can you relate?
So, this year, I'm approaching things differently. Instead of making personal resolutions for changes I want to make that will only reallly benefit me, I'm thinking of our family. I'm approaching the issue with my whole family. We're discussing ways our family can improve.
We're also approaching our goals with the same goal-setting/outcomes development approach I might use in my social work programs. Make 'em measurable and attainable...take the larger overall goal in mind (the big picture) and break it down. Allow yourself more than 1 year to implement the full change, in those larger areas! Allow room for improvement and growth year from year. Remove the pressure and Be Realistic.
Our list for the year:
1) Attend church at least 45 weeks this year! We fell into the trap of being "sporadic" attenders last year and are committed to re-focusing on our woship with fellow believers this year..even considering leading a small group and volunteering in the youth ministry.
2) Eat healthier through a great reduction in the frequency of meals out (maybe 1x/week limit!), sugar, and pop for the family, while I'm going to get a little sneaky on the vegetable front so the kids don't know their eating something good for them!
3) Move more...I really, really, really want to be a runner by the end of the year...we'll see where that goes.
That's it...a small list...a manageable list of goals. Measureable, so we can see our progress and actually achieve the goal.
What's your list?
Typically, about 6 weeks in (or faster), my "resolutions" become the newest list of efforts tried and failed. Its another list of all the things in my world that I lacked committment to accomplish, those things I allowed to fall out of priority.
Can you relate?
So, this year, I'm approaching things differently. Instead of making personal resolutions for changes I want to make that will only reallly benefit me, I'm thinking of our family. I'm approaching the issue with my whole family. We're discussing ways our family can improve.
We're also approaching our goals with the same goal-setting/outcomes development approach I might use in my social work programs. Make 'em measurable and attainable...take the larger overall goal in mind (the big picture) and break it down. Allow yourself more than 1 year to implement the full change, in those larger areas! Allow room for improvement and growth year from year. Remove the pressure and Be Realistic.
Our list for the year:
1) Attend church at least 45 weeks this year! We fell into the trap of being "sporadic" attenders last year and are committed to re-focusing on our woship with fellow believers this year..even considering leading a small group and volunteering in the youth ministry.
2) Eat healthier through a great reduction in the frequency of meals out (maybe 1x/week limit!), sugar, and pop for the family, while I'm going to get a little sneaky on the vegetable front so the kids don't know their eating something good for them!
3) Move more...I really, really, really want to be a runner by the end of the year...we'll see where that goes.
That's it...a small list...a manageable list of goals. Measureable, so we can see our progress and actually achieve the goal.
What's your list?
Thursday, December 20, 2012
12 in 2012
Another New Year is just around the corner, but, before we go there, I want to take a few minutes to reflect on the year 2012. I want to really think about all I've learned, things we've done, as a family, ways we've struggled and where we've grown. I want to acknowledge that this year will forever be etched in our stories and to give it due honors. Not everything this year has been pleasant. In fact, as I type this now, there's a twinge of regret in my stomach over a parenting decision I made today. There have definitely been some mistakes, but there have been some awesome times, too. Any good, quality reflection includes both, ya know.
So here goes...12 from 2012.
12. Life as a Sooner. I'll admit, it was sort like I was being dragged into life in Oklahoma kicking and screaming. Once we arrived, I hated it. I was lonely and depressed, not fitting in, and not meeting anyone. I was feeling useless and out of sorts. It sucked. Some how, and somewhere along the road this year, I snapped out of it. I decided I needed to return to work (more on that in a minute) and I needed to use my skills and talents. I needed to engage! I've reached out and made some great new friends. Justin and I have even attended at few OU football games and had a blast. We've purchased some Sooner gear and are embracing life in our new community...finally.
11. Football was the story of our life this fall. Shawn decided to give it another shot for his 6th grade year and really enjoyed it. He got to know a few boys, which I think helped a lot. We all got out of the house and stepped away from all thing electronics for several hours each week. Shawn's skill in the game really improved and he had fun...which was totally different than the two years he'd played when he was younger. He's already talking about playing 7th grade football! I can't wait...I truly do love being a football mom! I bring a certain, shall we say "energy", to the sidelines and have a lot of fun cheering the boys on.
10. The year of the dental work...that's how we'll be recording this year. Derek and Sarah nailed us in the first six weeks with massive dental work bills and then Derek's orthodontia kicked in. Whew! I sure hope these kiddos appreciate their smiles when its all said and done. I totally blame Justin!! My teeth have never had a cavity (knocking on wood now) but all four of our kids have had awful teeth. After searching for a great dentist in the OKC area, we finally settled on Smile Galaxy and love it! They're so great with the kids and make the whole thing way less scary for them, which is amazing. The most impressive thing was when the dentist asked to pray with me before Derek's surgery! I've never had a service provider do that and it meant so much! Hopefully, we'll get to see a little less of him in 2013, but either way, I'm glad we found Smile Galaxy.
9. I have to admit I'm still learning the true meaning of Proverbs 22:6 this year. "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it." As a social worker, especially a social worker in child welfare who trains other people in parenting and things for a living, I'm supposed to be a bit of an expert on the topic, right? Wow! There are most definitely some days when that couldn't be further from the truth and I do everything I know I'm not supposed to do or I respond to one of my children in a manner that is definitely not the way that particular child needs me to respond. I forget my head and my training and my flesh takes over. In 2012, I think God has been using a blow-horn to get my attention that each of my kids will need me to be a different kind of mom. But, wait, I'm only one person, right? How can I possibly be 4 different moms to 4 different kids all at the same time. The answer is I can't. Only God can give me those skills to be the magic shape-shifting mom for my kids. So, while I've struggled against that in 2012, next year will be the year I let go of my stubbornness and realize I am not the expert in my home nor am I the one who knows best for my children. I'll do my very best to surrender that power and control over to God each day...and I'll start early...like today! This very minute. I'm going to try and let it go and let God.
8. Family vacation. It was sure nice to get away from our everyday life for a week this summer and to just chillax and spend time together. We went to Table Rock Lake and Branson, MO. Justin's parents spent the week there, too, and that was great. A whole week with family was awesome. We were able to do several things within Branson but we were most content to just hang out at the resort and jump off the swim dock, go fishing, splash in a pool, or take a nap. It was peaceful and awesome to see the kids in nature and to make s'mores. I cannot wait for our next trip!
7. Seventy times seven, or maybe it's Infinity times seven...that's how many times I've needed forgiveness this year. At times, I feel like I'll simply explode with emotions and all kinds of emotions...and there have been times when I have exploded. We all do it, I know that, but it stinks when you realize that your family is the one who takes the heat. They do it because they love you, and I'm so happy they love me enough to deal with me when I lose my flippin head. I've asked for forgiveness more times than I'd care to admit this year and have done and said things I swore I would never do. Tonight, as I write this blog, even, I'm praying and asking for forgiveness again. I know God will forgive me. I know my kids will forgive me. What I need to learn is how to forgive myself and then to give myself grace to really learn and grow and change in those areas of need. I need to recognize that I cannot be, and I'm not expected to be perfect. I can't do it all and when I try, its those around me who suffer. I need to accept that these things are a part of me and I need to remember what I know I need to do. Praise God, I don't have to do it alone. Amen and Hallelujah!
6. Chloe's drama. Oh, that girl...she has such an energy about her that its remarkable. In school, this year, she's testing boundaries and doing some pretty crazy things in school, but she's the first one to draw you a picture, give you a hug, tell you how much she loves you and to offer to help you. Chloe's volume level can sometimes leave something to be desired, but its a sign of her love of life. She has an undeniable love of animals...all sorts...and she's not afraid to get dirty. This semester, she joined the drama club at school and played a Soldier and a Doctor in MacBeth. She did an amazing job! It was fun to see her apply all that energy on the stage. Next semester, they're doing A Midsummer Night's Dream and I cant wait to see how she does with that.
5. I think Justin's found his sweet-spot as a manager. He likes it and enjoys his co-workers. His boss sounds like a fair guy and one who is willing to teach and train, which is great. Justin's still eager to learn and is enjoying the position with the company. I won't deny I still hate his hours but, at least, he enjoys it. We're crossing our fingers he'll get to go to 1st shift by September. Its been an uphill struggle to learn how to do it all during the week and I miss my partner, but I know its only temporary and try to stay focused on that. God has blessed him with great colleagues,a good boss, and a flexible schedule, among other things, and that's all good. Growth? Learning to be content in the temporary to make long-term,permanent change and progress.
4. Four is the number of jobs I decided I could work this year...yeah right! A study in time managment, goal-making, and priority setting is on the books for next year. Time whip out Stephen Covey's book again, I think.
I've been an Adjunct Faculty at the University of Oklahoma in the Zarrow School of Social Work since August 2011 and LOVE IT! I cannot tell you how exciting it is to be a part of inspiring young adults to think about social work and to consider the tremendous benefit that comes from being a social worker. Its truly an awesome honor and a huge responsibility. I'm blessed to continue to teach again this coming Spring semester.
In February, I decided to open a home-based business when I decided to finally get serious about my health and to lose weight. I signed on as a distributor and user of the some of the most incredible health & wellness products out there. The quality of the products is unmatched anywhere on the market and I'm truly feeling better, physically, than I have in a long, long time. Not only have I lost 35 lbs, I've gained some awesome new friends. I still have a ways to go to reach my goal but I know...I have absolutely no doubt...I'll get there. The process can be slow going for me and Satan for sure uses my tendencies for carbs/sugars/soda against me. I'm learning to fully rely on God for my satisfaction and I'm learning to fuel my body how God intended. The products are an amazing support tool for me.
In May, I started contracting with the Oklahoma CASA Association as a training coordinator and facilitator. Its been tons o' fun to get to work with CASA again. I have such a deep admiration for the work of CASA volunteers and their program staff. They give selflessly of their time, energy, and talents to advocate for hurting children. I'm honored to be a part of their effort in Oklahoma. We're currently in the process of planning the 2013 Annual Conference and are really looking forward to the fabulous workshops and presentations we have planned. The Conference will be in April 2013 and all are invited!
In September, I started contracting with Eagle Ridge Institute as a Resource Family Recruiter & Trainer. In November, the position grew into a newly developed full-time position as the Director of Resource Family Care. We have big plans for the Therapeutic Foster Care program at ERI and I couldn't be more excited by the challenge. I'm now overseeing the recruitment, training, certification, and ongoing support of all ERI's therapeutic foster families in our 3 locations. Its a growing position and team and we're thrilled. Stay tuned.
3. Yeah, so number four introduces the need to prioritize, set goals, and learn to manage my time...but I musn't forget the lesson God gave me this year. In the early fall, I felt this constant prodding and pushing to remember my calling and to work within the talents and skills God entrusted to me. I knew it was God speaking to me and, after several weeks, I finally listened. I refocused my energy on my calling and the blessings have been awesome every since. It was a real reminder of God's ultimate plan and to not take your eyes off God for a minute! Its too distracting and you'll quickly get lost. I found my way back onto the path and things are great...now to stay on the right path...that's the tricky part.
2. The couple. The thing that started our family. Justin and I have spent more time together in the past six months, on dates and things, than we have in a long, long time and it feels so good. I really enjoy my husband and the time that we have together. We don't typically do much "date" stuff, but the point is that we're doing it together and spending time away from the kids. We've recognized we dont always have to be Mom and Dad...we can just be "us" and its good for us (and the kids). We have fun and he makes me laugh. Even grocery shopping, which could be pretty mundane, becomes less annoying when he's being annoying :) . He's a giant goofball, which is one thing I love about him and I'm glad I've gotten to see that again. My prayer is that we'll continue this into 2013 and beyond.
1. Don't stop here. This is the final lesson I've learned in 2012. Simply, don't stop. Don't stop seeking, learning, growing, changing, and improving. Stay focused and determined but have fun. Remember that life is short and we never know much time we have. We'll never know when its our last chance to give a hug, to say I love you, to take on a new challenge, to explore new possibilities, or to encourage another. So, in 2013, I will keep pushing forward and I'll only look back to remember the blessings and the lessons or the blessings in the lessons, however you want to look at it.
2013....Here I come! Are you ready? We've got a lot to look forward to and a lot of blessings headed our way!
So here goes...12 from 2012.
12. Life as a Sooner. I'll admit, it was sort like I was being dragged into life in Oklahoma kicking and screaming. Once we arrived, I hated it. I was lonely and depressed, not fitting in, and not meeting anyone. I was feeling useless and out of sorts. It sucked. Some how, and somewhere along the road this year, I snapped out of it. I decided I needed to return to work (more on that in a minute) and I needed to use my skills and talents. I needed to engage! I've reached out and made some great new friends. Justin and I have even attended at few OU football games and had a blast. We've purchased some Sooner gear and are embracing life in our new community...finally.
11. Football was the story of our life this fall. Shawn decided to give it another shot for his 6th grade year and really enjoyed it. He got to know a few boys, which I think helped a lot. We all got out of the house and stepped away from all thing electronics for several hours each week. Shawn's skill in the game really improved and he had fun...which was totally different than the two years he'd played when he was younger. He's already talking about playing 7th grade football! I can't wait...I truly do love being a football mom! I bring a certain, shall we say "energy", to the sidelines and have a lot of fun cheering the boys on.
10. The year of the dental work...that's how we'll be recording this year. Derek and Sarah nailed us in the first six weeks with massive dental work bills and then Derek's orthodontia kicked in. Whew! I sure hope these kiddos appreciate their smiles when its all said and done. I totally blame Justin!! My teeth have never had a cavity (knocking on wood now) but all four of our kids have had awful teeth. After searching for a great dentist in the OKC area, we finally settled on Smile Galaxy and love it! They're so great with the kids and make the whole thing way less scary for them, which is amazing. The most impressive thing was when the dentist asked to pray with me before Derek's surgery! I've never had a service provider do that and it meant so much! Hopefully, we'll get to see a little less of him in 2013, but either way, I'm glad we found Smile Galaxy.
9. I have to admit I'm still learning the true meaning of Proverbs 22:6 this year. "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it." As a social worker, especially a social worker in child welfare who trains other people in parenting and things for a living, I'm supposed to be a bit of an expert on the topic, right? Wow! There are most definitely some days when that couldn't be further from the truth and I do everything I know I'm not supposed to do or I respond to one of my children in a manner that is definitely not the way that particular child needs me to respond. I forget my head and my training and my flesh takes over. In 2012, I think God has been using a blow-horn to get my attention that each of my kids will need me to be a different kind of mom. But, wait, I'm only one person, right? How can I possibly be 4 different moms to 4 different kids all at the same time. The answer is I can't. Only God can give me those skills to be the magic shape-shifting mom for my kids. So, while I've struggled against that in 2012, next year will be the year I let go of my stubbornness and realize I am not the expert in my home nor am I the one who knows best for my children. I'll do my very best to surrender that power and control over to God each day...and I'll start early...like today! This very minute. I'm going to try and let it go and let God.
8. Family vacation. It was sure nice to get away from our everyday life for a week this summer and to just chillax and spend time together. We went to Table Rock Lake and Branson, MO. Justin's parents spent the week there, too, and that was great. A whole week with family was awesome. We were able to do several things within Branson but we were most content to just hang out at the resort and jump off the swim dock, go fishing, splash in a pool, or take a nap. It was peaceful and awesome to see the kids in nature and to make s'mores. I cannot wait for our next trip!
7. Seventy times seven, or maybe it's Infinity times seven...that's how many times I've needed forgiveness this year. At times, I feel like I'll simply explode with emotions and all kinds of emotions...and there have been times when I have exploded. We all do it, I know that, but it stinks when you realize that your family is the one who takes the heat. They do it because they love you, and I'm so happy they love me enough to deal with me when I lose my flippin head. I've asked for forgiveness more times than I'd care to admit this year and have done and said things I swore I would never do. Tonight, as I write this blog, even, I'm praying and asking for forgiveness again. I know God will forgive me. I know my kids will forgive me. What I need to learn is how to forgive myself and then to give myself grace to really learn and grow and change in those areas of need. I need to recognize that I cannot be, and I'm not expected to be perfect. I can't do it all and when I try, its those around me who suffer. I need to accept that these things are a part of me and I need to remember what I know I need to do. Praise God, I don't have to do it alone. Amen and Hallelujah!
6. Chloe's drama. Oh, that girl...she has such an energy about her that its remarkable. In school, this year, she's testing boundaries and doing some pretty crazy things in school, but she's the first one to draw you a picture, give you a hug, tell you how much she loves you and to offer to help you. Chloe's volume level can sometimes leave something to be desired, but its a sign of her love of life. She has an undeniable love of animals...all sorts...and she's not afraid to get dirty. This semester, she joined the drama club at school and played a Soldier and a Doctor in MacBeth. She did an amazing job! It was fun to see her apply all that energy on the stage. Next semester, they're doing A Midsummer Night's Dream and I cant wait to see how she does with that.
5. I think Justin's found his sweet-spot as a manager. He likes it and enjoys his co-workers. His boss sounds like a fair guy and one who is willing to teach and train, which is great. Justin's still eager to learn and is enjoying the position with the company. I won't deny I still hate his hours but, at least, he enjoys it. We're crossing our fingers he'll get to go to 1st shift by September. Its been an uphill struggle to learn how to do it all during the week and I miss my partner, but I know its only temporary and try to stay focused on that. God has blessed him with great colleagues,a good boss, and a flexible schedule, among other things, and that's all good. Growth? Learning to be content in the temporary to make long-term,permanent change and progress.
4. Four is the number of jobs I decided I could work this year...yeah right! A study in time managment, goal-making, and priority setting is on the books for next year. Time whip out Stephen Covey's book again, I think.
I've been an Adjunct Faculty at the University of Oklahoma in the Zarrow School of Social Work since August 2011 and LOVE IT! I cannot tell you how exciting it is to be a part of inspiring young adults to think about social work and to consider the tremendous benefit that comes from being a social worker. Its truly an awesome honor and a huge responsibility. I'm blessed to continue to teach again this coming Spring semester.
In February, I decided to open a home-based business when I decided to finally get serious about my health and to lose weight. I signed on as a distributor and user of the some of the most incredible health & wellness products out there. The quality of the products is unmatched anywhere on the market and I'm truly feeling better, physically, than I have in a long, long time. Not only have I lost 35 lbs, I've gained some awesome new friends. I still have a ways to go to reach my goal but I know...I have absolutely no doubt...I'll get there. The process can be slow going for me and Satan for sure uses my tendencies for carbs/sugars/soda against me. I'm learning to fully rely on God for my satisfaction and I'm learning to fuel my body how God intended. The products are an amazing support tool for me.
In May, I started contracting with the Oklahoma CASA Association as a training coordinator and facilitator. Its been tons o' fun to get to work with CASA again. I have such a deep admiration for the work of CASA volunteers and their program staff. They give selflessly of their time, energy, and talents to advocate for hurting children. I'm honored to be a part of their effort in Oklahoma. We're currently in the process of planning the 2013 Annual Conference and are really looking forward to the fabulous workshops and presentations we have planned. The Conference will be in April 2013 and all are invited!
In September, I started contracting with Eagle Ridge Institute as a Resource Family Recruiter & Trainer. In November, the position grew into a newly developed full-time position as the Director of Resource Family Care. We have big plans for the Therapeutic Foster Care program at ERI and I couldn't be more excited by the challenge. I'm now overseeing the recruitment, training, certification, and ongoing support of all ERI's therapeutic foster families in our 3 locations. Its a growing position and team and we're thrilled. Stay tuned.
3. Yeah, so number four introduces the need to prioritize, set goals, and learn to manage my time...but I musn't forget the lesson God gave me this year. In the early fall, I felt this constant prodding and pushing to remember my calling and to work within the talents and skills God entrusted to me. I knew it was God speaking to me and, after several weeks, I finally listened. I refocused my energy on my calling and the blessings have been awesome every since. It was a real reminder of God's ultimate plan and to not take your eyes off God for a minute! Its too distracting and you'll quickly get lost. I found my way back onto the path and things are great...now to stay on the right path...that's the tricky part.
2. The couple. The thing that started our family. Justin and I have spent more time together in the past six months, on dates and things, than we have in a long, long time and it feels so good. I really enjoy my husband and the time that we have together. We don't typically do much "date" stuff, but the point is that we're doing it together and spending time away from the kids. We've recognized we dont always have to be Mom and Dad...we can just be "us" and its good for us (and the kids). We have fun and he makes me laugh. Even grocery shopping, which could be pretty mundane, becomes less annoying when he's being annoying :) . He's a giant goofball, which is one thing I love about him and I'm glad I've gotten to see that again. My prayer is that we'll continue this into 2013 and beyond.
1. Don't stop here. This is the final lesson I've learned in 2012. Simply, don't stop. Don't stop seeking, learning, growing, changing, and improving. Stay focused and determined but have fun. Remember that life is short and we never know much time we have. We'll never know when its our last chance to give a hug, to say I love you, to take on a new challenge, to explore new possibilities, or to encourage another. So, in 2013, I will keep pushing forward and I'll only look back to remember the blessings and the lessons or the blessings in the lessons, however you want to look at it.
2013....Here I come! Are you ready? We've got a lot to look forward to and a lot of blessings headed our way!
Monday, June 18, 2012
Prayer - Why is it so hard?
If you know me, you know that I'm a very social person. I can typically talk, laugh, and have a great time with just about anyone. I'm definitely a people person. I'm able to sit and have both light-hearted and deep, meaningful conversations with people from all walks of life. As a social worker, this is a skill that has definitely come in very handy.
So, why is prayer so hard for me? Why is having a simple conversation with God so intimidating for me? Why do I feel like I have to do it the "right way" and why do I feel like I have to teach my kids to "pray the right way"? Ugh...do you know just how frustrating that is?
Over the past two weeks, I've been following along with my hometown church's 21 days of prayer journey and reading daily messages about prayer at www.Talking2God.com. Each and every message is speaking directly to my heart and I'm really feeling God's presence in each one and, yet, its still hard for me to get into that sacred place where prayer is a natural thing. I never quite know what to say or how to say it...do I say in my head or do I say it outloud? Do I need to be in a certain posture? How long do I need to pray? AAAACCCCCKKKK!!!! Its definitely overwhelming.
Its not that I don't have a lot to talk about with God. I have a long list of prayers - prayers of thanksgiving and gratefulness for all the many blessings in my life, prayers for others in my life and situations they're going through and requests for blessings over them or protection or strength, prayers over difficult situations or decisions in my own life or the life of my family, etc. Yeah, I have prayers...but how do I send them to the Big Man upstairs?
Do you struggle with this? If you have and have found your groove...what helped you get to the point where prayer came easy and natural for you? What scares you about prayer or just completely freaks you out? Let's get it out there and talk about it - the nitty gritty of prayer.
So, why is prayer so hard for me? Why is having a simple conversation with God so intimidating for me? Why do I feel like I have to do it the "right way" and why do I feel like I have to teach my kids to "pray the right way"? Ugh...do you know just how frustrating that is?
Over the past two weeks, I've been following along with my hometown church's 21 days of prayer journey and reading daily messages about prayer at www.Talking2God.com. Each and every message is speaking directly to my heart and I'm really feeling God's presence in each one and, yet, its still hard for me to get into that sacred place where prayer is a natural thing. I never quite know what to say or how to say it...do I say in my head or do I say it outloud? Do I need to be in a certain posture? How long do I need to pray? AAAACCCCCKKKK!!!! Its definitely overwhelming.
Its not that I don't have a lot to talk about with God. I have a long list of prayers - prayers of thanksgiving and gratefulness for all the many blessings in my life, prayers for others in my life and situations they're going through and requests for blessings over them or protection or strength, prayers over difficult situations or decisions in my own life or the life of my family, etc. Yeah, I have prayers...but how do I send them to the Big Man upstairs?
Do you struggle with this? If you have and have found your groove...what helped you get to the point where prayer came easy and natural for you? What scares you about prayer or just completely freaks you out? Let's get it out there and talk about it - the nitty gritty of prayer.
Friday, March 23, 2012
Getting Healthy This Year!!
Here are two stories of other people using the same products
I am to get healthy and I found them so awesome that I had to share them with
everyone!!! If there was a mountaintop near me, I'd climb (or crawl) to the top and shout it out, they are so inspiring!!! Since Feb 12, I have lost 16 lbs, which means I
only have 65 to go until I reach my goal, which is really exciting. These
products are easily incorporated into any other healthy eating plan, like
Weight Watchers, Nutri-system, Jenny Craig, etc. or just watching your
calories, fat content, or carbs. They promote overall health and wellness, so they're also great for those who don't necessarily have weightloss as a goal but just want to enhance their body's natural functions.
Please help me spread the word about this awesome program and sharing this post with anyone you know who might be interested. I would love to help as many people as possible get healthy this year!!! The journey is easier when you do it with friends! More pictures and success stories are available on my facebook page https://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/AmaXYNG-Oklahoma/199588176808595
Serena Please help me spread the word about this awesome program and sharing this post with anyone you know who might be interested. I would love to help as many people as possible get healthy this year!!! The journey is easier when you do it with friends! More pictures and success stories are available on my facebook page https://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/AmaXYNG-Oklahoma/199588176808595
#1) Dan & Melissa C (In this pic, Melissa is a size 11 but now, she’s a 7)
Finding a health and wellness solution for my husband and me with these products was an unexpected blessing to say the least. Nine years ago at the age of 41, Dan suffered a severe stroke that nearly took his life after years of uncontrolled high blood pressure, extreme stress from his corporate management job, and being 100 plus pounds overweight. The doctors told us if we didn’t control his blood pressure and lose the weight his chances of having a second stroke he wouldn’t survive were extremely high. We’ve tried everything from fad diets to prescriptions, to exercise, but nothing gave us lasting results as the weight always came back. The guilt I felt for not being able to help my husband contributed to my own weight gain, as I turned to food for comfort. Waking up every day wondering if it would be our last together consumed me with fear. After years of this, our doctor suggested our only option would be gastric bypass surgery for Dan, but we were unable to find a doctor willing to perform the risky procedure on someone with a history of a stroke. We were completely devastated and felt we had nowhere to turn.
In July of 2011, I was invited to an event called a Cheat N Eat by my sister-in-law. She had been using these products for several months, and thought they would be beneficial to us as well. I learned about the products, sampled a few of them and couldn’t wait to get home to tell Dan we may have found our answer! We ordered the IGNITE pack, and in our first 8 days I lost 11 pounds and Dan lost 14 pounds. We took one day off and, after another 8 days, repeated our results and felt great!
Since July 2011, we’ve continued using all of the products and are having great success. In September, Dan’s blood pressure medicine was reduced by half and he was asked by our doctor to return in 3 weeks to be sure it stabilized. He didn’t actively try to lose more pounds during this time, but continued using some of the products. We were so excited 3 weeks later to find his blood pressure had stabilized, and that he had lost another 5 pounds! Our doctor was just amazed, especially when the results from Dan’s Chem 7 blood tests came back all in the “normal” range!
As of January 1, 2012, I have lost over 60 pounds and I’m now wearing a size 7!!! Dan has lost over 80 pounds. We both agree we’ve never felt better, and we know that with the help of these products, we have finally taken control of our health, and look forward everyday to the great life we have ahead of us.
Friday, January 20, 2012
Back Talkin'
What is it about back talk that can cause one to throw every good parenting skill she knows right out the window? Why is such a very typical childish act so dang frustrating for a parent? Holy cow!!
My oldest is turning into quite the pro at talking back. He's 11 and I swear to you that he's convinced he's in control of everything...everything except his mouth and his attitude. I'm not saying he does it all the time but, man, when it happens, he really goes all the way with it.
So, how are we supposed to handle this kind of thing? Getting mad and "talking with intense emotion" definitely doesn't help. Ignoring it only sends the message its okay. Grounding him from all things electronic or with a screen has lost its meaning and value. He doesn't really play with toys anymore and since we've moved, he doesn't even have a lot of friends that we can ground him from. I've talked to him about God's directives for him, as a child. I know he gets it and I know he understands it...I just wonder if its really settling in his heart. Its times like this when he's no fun to be around and I get mad at myself because I let the disrespect of the arguing and talking back get to me.
Oh, and did I mention the other 3 kids are right there, watching all of this unfold? I dread the day I get it from all four angles.
He'll be 12 in six months...and then, a full-fledged teenager. Puberty and hormones are going to set in and I'm betting middle school will not help this situation get any better.
Parenting is tough and there are times when we just don't know what to do. Kids will be kids, I know, and I know they learn how to behave from us, so we have to really model what we want from them. There are times, though, when even parents turn into children and behave childishly. What do we do then? How do we overcome these obstacles?
Its a question almost as big as "What's the meaning of life?"
Do you know the answer?
My oldest is turning into quite the pro at talking back. He's 11 and I swear to you that he's convinced he's in control of everything...everything except his mouth and his attitude. I'm not saying he does it all the time but, man, when it happens, he really goes all the way with it.
So, how are we supposed to handle this kind of thing? Getting mad and "talking with intense emotion" definitely doesn't help. Ignoring it only sends the message its okay. Grounding him from all things electronic or with a screen has lost its meaning and value. He doesn't really play with toys anymore and since we've moved, he doesn't even have a lot of friends that we can ground him from. I've talked to him about God's directives for him, as a child. I know he gets it and I know he understands it...I just wonder if its really settling in his heart. Its times like this when he's no fun to be around and I get mad at myself because I let the disrespect of the arguing and talking back get to me.
Oh, and did I mention the other 3 kids are right there, watching all of this unfold? I dread the day I get it from all four angles.
He'll be 12 in six months...and then, a full-fledged teenager. Puberty and hormones are going to set in and I'm betting middle school will not help this situation get any better.
Parenting is tough and there are times when we just don't know what to do. Kids will be kids, I know, and I know they learn how to behave from us, so we have to really model what we want from them. There are times, though, when even parents turn into children and behave childishly. What do we do then? How do we overcome these obstacles?
Its a question almost as big as "What's the meaning of life?"
Do you know the answer?
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