Application...Life....Updating...

Has it really been over 5 months since I last posted?  I have to ask myself why I can't stay away from facebook for more than a day or two?  Convenience, perhaps?  The fact that I can post in the flash of lightning from my fancy phone?  (Remember when beepers were cool?)  Or is it a crazy obsession with telling all my business to the world? Probably a combination of all of the above!

Okay, well...5 months...there's a lot to update, so let's get started.

I realized all too quickly I'd taken on way too much last fall when I started working 3 jobs plus tried a home-based business in direct sales. So, in April, I made a change. I left my position with a foster care agency and jumped full-time into a position as the Training Director for the Oklahoma CASA Association. I'm loving it!!! While the decision really was difficult and I didn't necessarily leave the former position as neatly wrapped up as would have made me proud, I know it was the right decision and I'm very happy in my new full-time role. I'm also very grateful that it isn't all that "new" since I'd already been working with OK CASA for a year or more, as a contractor. God opened up an awesome door and I walked through it.  Thank You, Jesus!  I'm still an adjunct professor at the University of Oklahoma and am so super proud to work with budding social workers, to inspire them to find a passion, and go for it!  Its truly a very cool thing I get to do. Oh, and now I say, with a smile "BOOMER SOONER!!"

I’m also working on my book and on developing my speaking & training business, on a very part-time basis, so I don't lose site of the family priorities again. I’ve recently started writing for Foster Focus Magazine and am a fairly regular contributor to that magazine.  I am making a lot of connections all over the country and believe God  is opening some incredible doors for me to get my message out there.  It’s an exciting time, for sure.  (If you haven't read Joel Osteen's book "It's Your Time", you should!!!  Totally amazing!  Find it here.)

Our oldest son, Shawn, is now a teenager!!! He turned 13 last weekend and we celebrated with a big paintball party. I will never understand the attraction of that game, but he and his friends loved it...little paintball welts on their torsos and all!  Now, when I look at him, I have to allow myself to accept he becoming a young man, which ain't easy for this momma to do. He’ll be in the 7^th grade this year and will play football at school.  He loves to hunt and fish with Dad and is definitely a “redneck” boy at heart. He has grown & matured so much in the past two years…I’m amazed every day.  

Our younger son, Derek, turned 11 in June and will be in the 5^th grade.  Since moving to Oklahoma, we’ve noticed some learning issues with Derek and finally were able to get him assessed.  He has some characteristics of Asperger’s Syndrome, but doesn’t meet full criteria.  His primary issues are in sensory integration, so we’re learning how to best help him focus and to deal with the constant sensory stimulation from the classroom and environment. Praise God his struggles aren't more severe, but it does make me more empathetic to the families of kiddos who do have to fight hard in their world.  We finally have a good IEP for him, so I’m hopeful 5^th grade will be a success. He had an awesome teacher last year who worked with him a great deal and he managed to pass all his subjects! On a brighter note, Derek is a total goofball!!! He is HILARIOUS and makes us laugh every day…especially when he breaks into random dance or a rap…a while back he had “apple-bottom jeans” stuck in his head and sang it all the time.  It was too funny!  

Chloe, my little mini-me, is now 9 and is a huge animal-lover. This month, she attended a horse camp and we have to admit we created a monster by letting her go.  She already tries to convince me we can put a horse in the back yard with the dog.  We decided to sign her up for weekly riding lessons and she is in heaven on a horse!  Its fun to see her so passionate about something and the way she talks to her horses is great.  She talks about becoming a veterinarian someday, and I can totally see her working with farm animals more than anything else.  At least, she talks about going to KSU for vet school (Go CATS!). (Yep, still a Wildcat fan, too!).  

Sarah is 7 and is a natural-born dancer & diva.  She loves ballet, tap, and jazz and cannot wait to take hip-hop classes.  She has a special little attitude that comes out and I know she gets it from me.  Ya know, I always joked there was a touch of “black” in me and I see it in her, too…you should see her roll her head while snapping her fingers!  Just yesterday, she was trash talking me as we were playing in the cold water springs near Sulphur, Oklahoma and I refused to jump off the waterfall into the frigid waters.  She stood on the rock, popped her hip, snapped her fingers, and rolled her head as she told me exactly how big a wimp I was and how she was not scared!  She’s yet to learn when its cute and when its just rude, though, so we’re working on that.

Justin is still with FedEx and still likes it, okay, I guess. He is still on 2^nd shift, which sucks, but we’re managing.  We're seeking God's plan for him in this area and are waiting for God's direction.  We will celebrate our 15^th wedding anniversary in October.  Hard to believe we’ve been married for 15 years and have been a couple for 19 years!!!  

Our lives are even more awesome now because his two oldest nieces have both had babies.  I am loving up on those precious babies any chance I get. Little Rorie is now 4 months old and that cutie Luis Enrique is now about a month and half old.  Since Aunt Serena doesn't get to love on them too much, I admit, I hog them as much as I can when I visit! Babies are so much fun.  I hope to be as close to each of them as I am to their mommas...two of my amazing nieces!  

What's your update?  How is God challenging you? How is God blessing you? What doors are opening or closing for you?  Fill me in, friend!

Conflict Sucks!

Matthew 18:15-17 ESV
“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector."

We've all been there...the moment when a conflict arises and you don't really know how to handle it, but your emotions take you down a path you know isn't best.  It sucks.  Truly sucks.  Its far too easy to say things, in the heat of a moment, that are hurtful and unkind, and probably don't even represent your deepest feelings, its just the "heat" talking.  The adrenaline just takes over and causes the filter between our brains and our mouths to stop working. 

Unfortunately, the world of social media and email has only added to our problems. I can't tell you how much drama has entered my life via facebook in the 4+ years I've been on that wonderful site!  This weekend was no exception...stupid conflict over misinterpretations and misunderstandings...a total breakdown of adult communication that has had some pretty serious outcomes.  Everything is okay, now, but the pain of it all really stings.  Things were said that cannot be unsaid and feelings were hurt.  Even when it isn't intentional, it never feels good to hurt someone's feelings, does it?

So, I turned to the Bible, to determine if I had handled the conflict, during its growing stages, as best I could.  I read Matthew 18:15-17.  I asked myself "Did you talk to the person in private?" Yes. "Did you talk to the person again, with witnesses?" Yes.  "Did you tell the 'church' (larger group)?" Yes.  "Is the person willing to listen to the issue and work it out?" No. It doesn't appear to be the case. 

Okay, I've done all I can.  I've prayed for God's guidance and have tried to apologize for the things I've done to contribute to the conflict. I've offered to continue the discussion, in a new tone, to no avail.  So, a decision was made. A painful decision and one that is definitely not the easiest decision to follow-through with, but nevertheless, the best decision.  Now, its time to just move on. 

Sometimes, relationships can be salvaged after conflicts. Othertimes, they cannot.  The last line of this portion of scripture says "And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector."  God is simply telling us not every relationships can survive a conflict and he tells us to move on.  He doesn't say dwell on it.  He doesn't say let it fester. He simply says the relationship is different - move on.

So, that's what I'm doing...moving on.  This piece of my life's puzzle will teach me something and I'll seek to learn all I can.  Its okay. I'm at peace with it.  

Conflict isn't pretty, but God tell's us exactly how to handle it, doesn't He?  Good to know He's really right there...on top of it.

A New Year Means...

You know the routine...all through December you spend your time thinking about what you'll "start" on January 1.  The cultural obsession with "New Year's Resolutions" is something that many of us buy in to - myself included!  Every year, I tell myself "This is the year I ___________". Fill in the blank - get in shape, exercise more, lose weight, read the Bible cover to cover, never say a swear word, never raise my voice at my kids.  The list goes on an on.  I am that person who will make a list of 10 or more things I want to change about my life during that year.  There have even been posts on this blog about all that I'm going to do. 

Typically, about 6 weeks in (or faster), my "resolutions" become the newest list of efforts tried and failed.  Its another list of all the things in my world that I lacked committment to accomplish, those things I allowed to fall out of priority. 

Can you relate?

So, this year, I'm approaching things differently. Instead of making personal resolutions for changes I want to make that will only reallly benefit me, I'm thinking of our family. I'm approaching the issue with my whole family.  We're discussing ways our family can improve. 

We're also approaching our goals with the same goal-setting/outcomes development approach I might use in my social work programs.  Make 'em measurable and attainable...take the larger overall goal in mind (the big picture) and break it down. Allow yourself more than 1 year to implement the full change, in those larger areas! Allow room for improvement and growth year from year.  Remove the pressure and Be Realistic.

Our list for the year:
1) Attend church at least 45 weeks this year! We fell into the trap of being "sporadic" attenders last year and are committed to re-focusing on our woship with fellow believers this year..even considering leading a small group and volunteering in the youth ministry.
2) Eat healthier through a great reduction in the frequency of meals out (maybe 1x/week limit!), sugar, and pop for the family, while I'm going to get a little sneaky on the vegetable front so the kids don't know their eating something good for them!
3) Move more...I really, really, really want to be a runner by the end of the year...we'll see where that goes.

That's it...a small list...a manageable list of goals. Measureable, so we can see our progress and actually achieve the goal. 

What's your list?